dear diary

Being on a verge of…

It has been more than one month, since I lost my job- I was laid off ( sounds a bit better than made redundant isn’t it?). The first week I spent on crying and though I was receiving some calls, I decided not to pick up the phone at all…Yes, that’s what I did. Just laid on my bed and cried or watched TV series or ate…and so on. I used to wake up in the middle of the night being haunted by the image of my manager and his assistant staring at me and laughing hysterically. I just couldn’t get it out of my head….

Loosing a job is never easy, nonetheless of the circumstances or how long you have been in a job- it never gets any painless. I was kind of relieved at first, as I was working 6 days per week and rarely had a minute to myself. So I was like- omg, finally I can start baking again. But after that excitement reality hit me…bills to pay, car insurance and so on, so on.

I went from being super confident to being very much on a verge of emotional breakdown. Day by day I am fighting with myself to not stay in bed. Instead- I have developed a healthy routine for myself ( at least I am trying). Gym or exercising at home every day ( 30 min), green tea in the morning instead of coffee, that made me very alert but shaky and nervous. I started writing this blog and I am thinking of starting a cooking blog ( amateur baker), I read my first book in 2017 ( had problems with concentrating on reading a piece for more than 1 min). So I look at that and think- you did some good things girl… As they say everything has it’s good and bad sides…

I am certainly in no good place when it comes to finances at the moment, but I have started to think before I buy anything ( which didn’t really happen to me beforehand).

So Yes- I am on a verge….but on a verge of positive changes…. Loosing my job was a traumatic experience for me, but it is helping me to remodel my life in a way, that I would never dream it will.

For all those that are struggling like me right now- don’t give up…pursue your dreams…do what you always wanted to do:) Nothing is happening without a reason…


4 thoughts on “Being on a verge of…

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