Dubai Life · Rediscovering Myself

Struggling….

Hi guys & girls:)

A while ago I have lost my job….as I mentioned in one of my previous posts I was on 6 months probation ( here in UAE it’s 3 or 6 months and most employers are choosing 6 months to basically be able to “say thank you” to the employees that don’t want or can’t afford) and I became one of those… They told me that the company can not afford my services but I think that the reason was totally different:(  They told me bye bye and I became jobless….  I could spend now quite a bit of time writing about the working conditions in UAE, how difficult the market is, how many people are looking for a job ( apparently 99.9%) but that’s not what I want to write about today…

I want to say, that despite my efforts ( at least that’s what I call them) I still don’t have a job…At the beginning I was waking up in the morning, green tea than laptop, sending out Cv’s. Full of energy and optimism. Phone calls, interviews and bang- nothing. Right now, my days are filled with- green tea, work out and than tv series, tv series, tv series…

I couldn’t get myself even to come here and write- can you imagine? And the thing is, that despite the fact, that I do realize that I am wasting my time completely here, I am not doing anything to change it… I feel numb and drained, and don’t know what I want to do with my life anymore… I am now living with my friend ( don’t say bf word in UAE) and thanks to him I have roof over my head, food etc…But can’t live like that forever….

Can’t go shopping ( i know this is the least of my problems now), can’t do much…and most importantly- not sure where I will get the money for my ticket home as you can’t stay here for long if you don’t have working visa….

I am asking myself- how did I get here? was my decision of coming here a mistake? why I can’t get myself together and move forward with my life?

Dear diary- please make me wake up tomorrow and move my bottom to some serious action as I am drowning here…

Writing helps me, that’s for sure, I find comfort in being here and I know that many of you feels the same way. I am struggling with myself plus low self esteem plus everything else… I know I am not alone…and I know I will be judged by many for writing this- but I honestly believe that honesty is the best policy…

I was recently wondering about this so called “social media” ( which I am a very active member) and I thought- what the heck…we call it social but by the matter of fact, we become more unsocial because of that….. Like for like…follow for follow ( and then unfollow) etc… What a reality is that?

So I come here and every time I write something please trust me- these are my honest words and that’s a real me…

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